Beautiful Woman Helping A Man Who Overturned His Golf Cart.
While golfing, I accidentally overturned my golf cart.
A very attractive golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, “Are you okay?”
“I’m okay thanks,” I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart.
She said, “Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I’ll help you get the cart up later.
” I noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure. “That’s mighty nice of you,” I answered, “but I don’t think my wife would like it.”
“Oh, come on now.”, she insisted. She was so pretty, and very, very persuasive. I was weak.
“Well okay,” I finally agreed, “But I’m sure my wife won’t like it.”
After a couple of Scotch and waters, I thanked her and said, “I feel a lot better now. But I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I’d better go now.”
“Don’t be silly!” she said with a smile, letting her robe fall slightly more open. “Stay for a while. She won’t know anything. By the way,where is she?”
I replied, “Still under the cart, I guess”.
One more positive Jhatka from PM for all private company employees….
1) All private company employees will work only 8hrs.
2) If manager ask to wait more than 8hrs, employee can sue the manager in the court.
3) Employee can take weekly 1day leave apart from sat n sun.
4) Company has to give mandatory 30% rise in annual salary.
5) If employee wants to leave job, Company has to pay his full n final settlement on the last day of his service.
6) None of the employee can be terminated, as they were hired after long rounds of interview.
7) Special privileged leave on birthday, anniversary and celebration at home apart from annual leaves.
8) Minimum 1 hour of rest during working hours.
9) Free membership for extra curricular activities.
Effective from today midnight..
Don’t know from where such rumors come.. But felt good after reading so forwaded😎
Guy And Women Who Had Married 6 Times
On 4:49 AM 0 Comments
There was this guy who had married 6 times, but each of his wives had died soon after the marriages.
He wanted to marry a seventh time…..
But there was no women willing, because of his reputation.
Finally one woman came forward…..
She too had married 6 times and each of her husbands had died soon after the marriages.
People were curious to know what would happen when these two got married to each other.
The wedding took place and the very next day…….
To know the remaining story, give me change for Rs.2000/-
Two Well Dressed Ladies At Brisbane Airport Terminal
Two well dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an
endless wait in Brisbane Airport Terminal.
The first lady was an arrogant Victorian married to a wealthy business
The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from Mount Isa, Queensland.
After a little while the Victorian woman started by saying, “When my first
child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me.”
The lady from Mount Isa commented, “Well, isn’t that precious?”
The first woman continued, “When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful gold Mercedes-Benz.”
Again, the lady from Mount Isa commented, “Well, isn’t that precious?”
The first woman went on, …………
“Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.”
Yet again, the Mount Isa lady commented, “Well, isn’t that precious?”
The first woman then asked , “What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?”
My husband sent me to charm school,” declared the Mount Isa lady.
“Charm school?” the first woman cried, “Oh, my Lord! What could they teach you??”
The Mount Isa lady responded, “Well as an example… …
Instead of saying, “Who gives a fu*k?”, I learned to say, “Well, isn’t that precious?”
A Couple Celebrates Their 50th Wedding Anniversary
A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.
On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he’s getting sentimental
because they’re celebrating 50 wonderful years together.
“No, I was thinking about the time before we got married.
Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said
he’d have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn’t marry you.
Tomorrow I would’ve been a free man!”
Hunter Went On Safari With Wife And Mother-In-Law
A big game hunter went on a safari with his wife and mother-in-law.
One evening, his wife awoke to find her mother gone.
She woke up her husband and the two of them prepared to go outside
and search for her mother.
The hunter picked up his gun, and they were ready to go.
Not far from the camp, they came upon a frightening sight:
The mother-in-law was pinned against thick, impassable bush, while a huge lion growling menacingly just inches from her face.
The wife yelled in fear, “What are we going to do?”
“Don’t worry about it dear,” said the husband.
“The lion can take care of himself”
boy: mom aaj khane me kya bnaya hai…
mom: baigan ki sabji…
boy: kya mom har bar baigan ki sabji…
mom: ye sab najkhre apni bivi ke samne karna….tab to muh se ik shabad nhi niklega jo vo banaygi chup chap khaloge…!!
boy:kkk lao baigan hi khata hu…
boy: aaj khane me kya banna hai darling..
wife: baigan ki sabzi..!!
boy: kya?? baigan ki sabzi…
wife: ye nakhre na apni maa k samne kiya karo tab to kuch ni bolte …
boy: acha lao baigan ki sabzi
This is a good one..
A Boss Asks his Employee: “Do you believe that
there is Life After Death?”.
Employee: “Certainly not, there’s no proof of it”.
Boss: “Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your cousin’s funeral, he came here looking for you.” …
If u want to have some extra excitement during a roller coaster ride, carry few nuts n bolts wid u..
Let d coaster reach d max height..
Den tap d person infrnt of u n say “ye aapki seat se nikle hai”
New Diseases of Whatsapp users…..
1.Wrong post in wrong group syndrome
2.Non-reading earlier post dystrophy
3. Repeated posting neurosis
4. Late replying psychosis
5. Non-immune religionitis
6. Sudden disappearancitis.
A Sick Leave letter from Pasha Bhai to his Manager
Dear Manager Saheb
Sending you this leave letter
I will not come as my eyes have come ‘ if I come with my eyes coming then your eyes will come & you will not come as then Still if you come with your coming eyes all eyes will come & all will not come . so I will not come and all will come . I will come back when my coming eyes will go & all will come without their eyes coming
Pasaha Bhai na Jai Ambe…
Apple iPhone7 in India
Bangkok return ticket: 21k
Come back to India and buy Xiaomi mi3, MOTO G, at 13k
You still have 4k for friends
One day Jonson an ✈aeroplane cleaner was cleaning the pilots’ cockpit when he saw a book entitled “How to fly an aeroplane✈ for beginners. Volume One”.
He opened the first page which said, “To start the engine, press the red button.”. He did so and the airplane engine started.
He was happy and opened the next page. “To set airplane moving press the blue button.”
He did so and the ✈aeroplane started moving at an amazing speed.
He wanted to fly so he opened the third page which read, “To let the aeroplane fly, please press the green button.”
He did this and the plane started to ✈✈✈fly.
He was excited!!!!!!
After 20 minutes of flying, he was satisfied and wanted to land so he decided to go to the fourth page.
He fainted after reading the instructions…….
The fourth page read, “To learn how to land, please purchase Volume Two at the nearest bookshop!!!!
If Electrical Engineers make Hindi films, The
names will be like this :- *
Current Ho Na Ho* *
Jaanam Supply karo* *
Circuit wale Inductor Lejayenge* *
Kabhi AC Kabhi DC* *
Hamara IC Aap ke Paas He* *
Fuse Lagaya to Darna Kya* *
Capacitor No.1* *
Hum Signal De Chuke Sanam* *
Fuse To Udna Hi Tha*
A couple had a fight
Husband : I feel like informing everybody that u are useless!!
Wife : Rehne do…I will myself inform everybody that I am used less…
100 metre ki race ho rahi thi…
Referee said ‘1,2,3 GO!’…
Everybody started running except Alia bhatt.
Referee – y r u not running…?
Alia – My number is 4
SBI Bank: Humara bank aapko bina interest ke loan de raha hai….
Agar dene mein interest hi nahi hai to kyu de rahe ho? Nahi chahiye….
Once there was a mirror that killed anyone who lied..
FRENCH : I think I dont smoke (died)
AMERICAN : I think I love my wife (died)
ALIA BHATT: I think.. (died)
Alia bhatt and varun dhawan are walking on a road, and they find a 1000 rupee note lying down.
Alia – what should we do now?
Varun- we’ll take 50:50.
Alia- what about the remaining 900?
Alia Bhatt: Let’s go for movie .
Varun: Shit, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment today..
Alia Bhatt: Just cancel it,Tell him you’re sick.
Alia reading newspaper..
“Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump”
Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping..!!!
School☻☞ apni to pathshala masti ki pathshala……
Tuition☻☞idhr chala mai udhr chala Jane kaha mai kidhr chala……
Maths☻☞ajeeb daastan h ye kaha shru kaha khatam…….
Exam☻☞zahreeli raate ninde ud jati h……..
Result☻☞dhk dhk krne laga o mora jiyara drne laga…….
Pass☻☞aaj mai uper aasma niche aaj mai aage zamana peechhe…..
Fail☻☞chhan se jo tute koi sapna jag suna suna lage………
Hindi songs and their MEDICAL INTERPRETATIONS
Jiya Jale jaan jale,
Raat bhar dhuan chale
Tadap tadap ke is dil se aah nikalti rahi
Suhani raat dhal chuki …naa jaane tum kab aoge
Bidi jalayle jigar se piya jigar ma badi aag he
Tujhme rab dikhta hai ..yaara main kya karoo
Tuje yaad na meri aayi kisi se ab kya kahna
Mann dole mera tann dole
Tip tip barsa paani,
paani ne aag lagayee
Dil Dhadak Dhadak ke keh raha he..
Aaj Kal Paaon Zameen par nahi padte mere..
-CORN ON FEET
haay Neend nahin aaye..
Batana bi nahi aata, Chupana bi nahi aata..
And Above All
Lagi Aaj Saawan ki phir woh Zadi he..
An American, a Japanese and a Chinese went for a hike one day.
It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted.
When they came upon a small lake, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water, since it was fairly secluded.
Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their “freedom.”
As they were crossing an open area, suddenly a group of ladies from town appeared.
Unable to get to their clothes in time, the American and the Japanese quickly used their hands to cover their privates.
But the Chinese covered his face and the trio ran for cover.
After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the
American and the Japanese asked the Chinese why he covered his face rather than his private part.
The Chinese replied, “I don’t know about you……. but in my country,it’s the face that people recognise !!!
My mom should get awarded for being sarcastic.
Me- mumma woh subah bengan ki sabzi mein
namak thoda jyada ho gya tha.
Mom- nahi beta, sabzi namak ki thi galati se usme
bengan girr gya hoga.
Whatsapp chat of bollywood..
Katrina- lets go london in weekend✈
Kareena- aa gai aukaat mei sali, foriegner ki bachi
Deepika-tu hi jaa, aur ranbir ka picha chod de
Priyanka-kareena ko kaun add kiya
Saif- mei kiya, kya kar legi
Sahid- gussa mat kar priyanka
Priyanka- tu chup reh kareena k chamche
Kareena- jalo mat barabari karo
Sahid- saif teri toh mei pungi bha junga
Srk- mujhe jungli billi bahut pasand hai
Salman- toh jungle mei reh harami
Aamir- mannat mere naam kar dena bhai
Srk-chup be bikhari
Katrina- koi london chalega
Anushka- mei chalu☺
Deepika- chii anu, tu iske sath jaegi
Anushka- ye kaun hai
Salman- virat kohli
Salman was removed.
Akshay- Srk tu toh india chod de, modi pm ban gaya hai
Srk- haa bhai pakistan jaa ra hu
Aamir- acha hai, tera baap bhi toh waha rehta hai na
Katrina- koi london chalra kya
Rajpal yadav- mei chalne k liye ready hu
Johny lever- mei b chalta hu
Paresh lawal- aae raju, meri bhi ticket karwa
Akshay- raju apne baap ko bolna
Kareena- raju.. Hehe.. Nic 1 paresh ji
Twinkle- tera baap hai na paresh sali
Ranbir- meri behen ko koi kuch nai bolega
Deepika- i love u ranbir
Ranbir- are yar, ye toh piche hi pad gai
Vidya balan- hello every1
Kareena- aunty aa gai,bhago bhago..
Rajpal yadav left.
Paresh rawal left.
Who is a Girl ???
A Girl is the most Beautiful part of God’s creation.
She starts compromising at a very tender age.
She sacrifices her chocolates for her brother.
Later she sacrifices her love for just a smile on her parents face.
Then After Marriage
She takes revenge of all things from her Husband
Dad entered Son’s room and found him asleep on his books, tired of exam studies.He walked closer to him..
and played with his hair softly, sweetlyand….BAAANNNG $%^&* Slapped his face…and said:“Last seen on whatsapp 1 minute ago”
Ladki wale(ladke se): Beta kya kerte ho…?Ladka: jee, Chief administrator Hun.Ladki wale (khush hokar): Kaun si company mein beta…?Ladka: WhatsApp per 2 Groups aur Facebook per 3 Pages ka Admin hun..
Taj Mahal ko dekh kar
bola shahjahan ka pota..Taj Mahal ko dekh kar
bola shahjahan ka pota..Aaj apna bhi bank balance hota
Agar dada aashiq na hota!
Aaj phir hamare group ke admin ne kamaal kar diya…Wo savere savere bank me jaakar so gaya…
kyunki, waha likha tha ki
“Yaha Sone par loan diya jaata hai” 😀
Admin ke hath mein naya phone dekhkarDost bola:
Naya phone kab kharida?Admin: naya nahin hai, girfriend ka hai!Dost: Girlfriend ka phone kyun le aaya!Admin:
Roj kehti thi, mera phone nahin uthate, Aaj mauka mila.. Utha laaya…
Hamare whatsapp group Admin bachpan se hi kitne buddhiman hain iska ek pratyaksh udaharan:-Jab wo kaksha 5 mein the, to unke shikshak ne kaksha mein puchha:
Senior aur Junior mein kya antar hai?Keval admin ne hath khada kiya..Shikshak ne kaha: Shabbas beta, Batao?Admin: Sir jo samudra ke paas rehta ho wo senior (see-near),
aur Jo chidiyaghar ke pass rehta ho wo Junior (zoo-near)!
Whatsapp group mein maun rehkar,
Sirf messages padhne walo ke liye
Zabardast offer!!!…Bhootpurva PradhanMantri
Shri Manmohan Singh ji
Apna whatsapp group bana rahe hain…Kripaya turant JOIN kar lein!!!“First come first serve only!” 😉
.Hota kuchh nahin,
Lekin har 5 minute me check karna padta hai!
Attitude of Girls :
When a Boy Sends Dirty SMS.She Laughs For 10 Minutes,
Forwards That to Her Friends
Then Replies the BoyI Don’t Like That Kind of SMS!!
Admin jalebi bech raha tha,
lekin bola raha tha.. “Aaloo le lo aaloo”Santa: Yeh to jalebi hai..Admin : Abe chup ho ja, warna makkhiya aa jayegi!Intelligent hai na apna Admin!!
Admin par bijli ka taar gir gayaAdmin tadap-tadap ke marne hi wala tha ki
Use yaad aaya ki bijli to 2 din se band hai..Wapas uthkar, hanste hue bola,
Yaad nahin aata to mar hi jaata!